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Archive for June 25th, 2015

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28 (The Message)

 

As I was walking with God, after having poured out my heart to Him and let Him know this new assignment wasn’t what I signed up for, I heard…

Birds chirping and realized spring had come.  The long winter had passed (and boy did it feel long this year). Spring was here.  New beginnings.  Better beginnings than I first noticed.  He had provided an assignment for me to do from home.  I may have been juggling three jobs again (still not financially secure) but I was home with our kids and not trying to juggle two jobs inside the home along with another outside the home …before we even talk about my most important role as wife and mother.

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I noticed my schedule.  I was able to push off from the computer and take our new puppy outside for 15 minutes to refresh, talk with my Father, and come back refreshed.  I work for two companies who love Him.  I have two bosses who are incredibly flexible with my time, understanding of balancing more than one company/more than one job, and even better?  God had orchestrated it so that they were introduced through the common denominator called…Me.

He gets all the glory for that one!

My daughter and I were talking last weekend and while I still have three jobs, my schedule now is better than it was when I was working as a medical transcriptionist. My weekends belong to my family again.  I’m not getting up at 4 AM to start the work in my queue.  The assignments that I have now don’t require me to wear a headset so even when I’m working, I feel more connected to my kids and more involved.  I have the chance to attend fieldtrips, work the concession stand, and listen to band concerts without the worry of coming back and staying up until 2 AM to finish my assignments.

And you know what else I realized? I didn’t want to be released.  Not anymore.  I’m four weeks into my new assignment and while some things are still “Greek,” it’s starting to make sense and it’s enjoyable.  The overwhelming is fading and I’m learning so much!  Not to mention that the people I work with are wonderful – for both companies.  The people were wonderful from the beginning – I just thought God had messed up since I felt incredibly unqualified.

And I’m right and wrong.  I’m not completely qualified.  I think God is stretching me, helping me to learn things He wants me skilled at. But even if I appeared qualified on paper, I wouldn’t be fully qualified without relying on His help each and every day.  Feeling overwhelmed keeps me right where He wants me – in His arms, asking for His strength and power daily, sometimes hourly.

Someday God may change my role because I believe He has me moving in a direction that He hasn’t revealed to me yet. I don’t know when that someday is…and honestly? I’m peaceful right where I’m at, content to keep working hard at the assignment He gave me.

© Cheri Swalwell 2015

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